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Another one about Americans? And not just any Americans - It's American prostitutes!

It's a good point that prostitutes (especially American ones) often take injections, but I'm going to try not to dwell on that point. I'd like to talk about something far more important, far more related to everyday life, something we all have opinions on. You either hate it or love it. Marmite.

Damn straight - I'm talking that despicably disgusting, sordidly sticky, ambiguously-coloured yuckmanorasaur. That's the only way I know of to describe it. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone . . . well, no I'm not, but anyway, who in their right mind would eat this stuff? If you saw it out of the jar, not knowing it was marmite, what would you naturally assume? That's right, you'd be thinking oh crap, someone's faeces are in my kitchen. So next time you reach for that devilish, foul-tasting substance you call marmite, just consider for a minute, is this really what I think it is?

My scientifically accurate, theoretical explanation is, as you may have predicted, that marmite is in fact a poison sent to our planet by aliens, in an evil scheme for the little green men of Planet Cruddy to take over the universe. SAVE THE COSMOS - DON'T GIVE IN TO MARMITE.

As you can probably tell, this is a subject about which I feel very strongly. I am furious that the majority of humans don't even seem to care that we are blatantly being taken over, bit by bit, by aliens. Ever since our galaxy first yielded these freaky little tricksters, we have been under threat the whole time, and no-one even seems to acknowledge it. How can you be so blind? Stop eating marmite . . . NOW!!!

And I'll leave you with a song: It's incredible, edible . . . Anchor Spreadable.

Now there's some real toast-tip-toppingly delicious stuff - Anchor Spreadable.

Yummy American Prostitutes Often Take Injections

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