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I still haven't quite been able to figure out yet just how many things this acronym accuses Americans of doing at Christmas. I'll leave that to your ever-so-creative imagination...

Moving on, Christmas is an odd time nowadays. People seem to spend so much time complaining about how it's getting too commercialised and stuff, and they forget to have fun like normal people do. What's wrong with you people? Have you forgotten the joys of raking in the presents? And what about the food? Ok, admittedly I hate pretty much all the food, but most people seem to eat more at Christmas than they do all year. I mean, I'm surprised nobody's noticed the way the whole world suddenly becomes about twice as heavy as usual around Christmas time. It's obvious really. Unquestionably, that, at only that, is the reason why Pluto's orbit isn't circular.

Yuletide Americans Provoke Orgasms Totally Instantaneously

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