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. : 'Yo Alfred, Pee On The Ignoramus!' : .

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I bet you've wondered, at some point in your life, what the plural word for ignoramus is, right?

Well, if it follows the same rules as cactus, then it should be ignorami, but that somehow makes me think of some sort of secret government project going on in that steel shed my next door neighbours insist on having. I swear it's just practically made of rust! Or, in fact, come to think of it, 'ignorami' also sounds like a sausage.

Anyhoo, back to plurals of things... The word compass has an ending that sounds like the ending of cactus, but is the plural of compass compi? No. Suddenly, the almighty Gods of the English language have changed their minds: 'Right, we're gonna break all the rules and change the plural of the word compass'. Plus, I bet you didn't know that the opposite of the word noble is ignoble. Since when has 'ig' been a prefix? NEVER. For as long as I live I shall refuse to ever use the word ignoble - it should be unnoble, innoble, antinoble, or even just simple old Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. By the way, that's the longest REAL word in the English language.

Who's Alfred anyway...?

Yo Alfred, Pee On The Ignoramus!'

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