. : Yapoti Acronyms Piss Off The Irish : .
Now Viewing:
Oh, how easily the Irish are pissed off... What exactly they have against Yapoti in particular, however, I guess we'll never know.
So, incest seems to pop up randomly in conversation many times a week nowadays, much like a spring loaded with a sharp knife on the end and pointed carefully and accurately at a balloon filled with jelly. And it all starts here in the fens, the home of Yapoti. Why, I ask myself, does incest seem to culminate in the fens? Are siblings really so attractive to each other? I don't see it myself. But, I suppose, if the favourite past-time of people here is to make lots of mutants with webbed feet and six fingers, then fine, I guess I'll join in so I don't feel left out. Sure, it would be nice to have sex with someone not related to me, but, like asparagus in a tin and a decent police force in Sweden, I feel certain that it'll never happen.
Speaking of things I don't understand, many smokers have said to me that the only reason they smoke is that they like to suck on stuff. They have to suck on something, whatever it is. Now, if this is really true, why don't they find something a little less unhealthy to suck on? I mean, there is whole world of choice here - pens, screwdrivers, people . . . I could make a long long long list of suckage alternatives, and only a small minority would be body parts. And black holes, they really suck, really really suck, like a brand new vacuum cleaner, because we all know they begin to lose their suckiness after a while. Aside from sucking and topics related to smoking, however, I'd like to make yet another important point (about smoking...): if you ever go to America and want a cigarette, for any reason, doesn't have to be to suck on it, never say "dude, can I bum a fag?". You have been warned, so don't tell me you haven't when you get killed for doing it.
There's something I really don't understand about people. Everyone seems to dislike laziness. I mean, laziness is a good thing - it means you have to do less stuff. As in, stuff you don't want to have to do, so you're happier as a result of laziness. And if we were all lazy, we'd all be happy. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? So I propose to the world that we all raise our levels of laziness to a high generic level, kind of like pollution credits, except for laziness. That way we can all be lazy, and for those craaazzzzy people who don't like being lazy (I really can't understand those people) they can sell their unused laziness credits to the more lazy humans. See? Fool-proof system, is what it is...
Anyway, I'm hungry, so I'm off now to hunt snakes in my garden. I'll leave you with a joke:
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front door-step?
Matt.
Yapoti Acronyms Piss Off The Irish
Copyright © 2006 YAPOTI Web Publications. Email: info@yapoti.net. I'm sorry - I can't think of anything to write here.