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I have discovered a new love. With a mere 2% fat, absolutely no cholesterol, and despite suffering with 6% sodium content, these little critters are so loveable nobody can resist them. We all know what I'm talking about, so lets stop this charade - breadsticks. It's all about breadsticks. Those long, brittle sticks can satisfy any need, from hunger to plain and simple amusement. Well worth the £0.90 I had to part with if you ask me, which I feel confident that you would if you were here.

Along similar lines where trains of thought go chug-a-chug-chug, I believe you would also, in the same hypothetical situation, ask "So, do you also feel as strongly as I do about the word naïve?" And to that, I reply, "Yes. Yes I do. Thank-you for asking. In fact, I am so glad you asked that I'm going to give you a penny. Here, here's a penny."

Now, the word naïve, I am sure, must have been invented by some evil scheming being back in the good old days of the plague and black & white television, simply in order to annoy authors, journalists and Yapoti owners everywhere. Have you ever seen a keyboard with two dots on top of an 'i' on it? No, I didn't think so . . . Why, I once heard from a pink animal called the Social Bunny that with the time that has been spent in known history on attempting to write the word naïve correctly on a PC keyboard we could have cooked sixteen ham and cheese omelettes by now. And the numbers of deliciously tasty and succulently juicy ham and cheese omelettes are simply growing further, the rate of growth increasing every single day . . . But I guess it is pure bad luck that we have ended up with such an annoying word, so it seems there is nothing we can do about it . . . and, I guess, that's all I want to say, really.

Aside from all the craziness I have just off-loaded on you, though, I would like to end with a perfectly sane and rational joke:

A burglar was going through a house, when he came across a parrot. The parrot said, "God is watching you." The burglar just ignored it.

The parrot said, more loudly this time, "God is watching you, and Jesus is coming!"

The burglar asked the parrot, "If you're so smart, then what's your name?"

The parrot replied, "Moses."

"What kind of moron names a parrot Moses?" laughed the burglar.

The parrot replied, "The same fool who named his two pit bulls God and Jesus."

Har har . . .

Your Awful Pronunciation Occasionally Teleports Individuals

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