. : Yawning Affects Pterodactyls' Opportunities To Impregnate : .
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How the hell are you supposed to be able to tell when a deodorant can is empty? I thought mine was because it wouldn't spray any more, so I bought a new one. Then today it turns around and sprays me in the face. What is happening to deodorants these days? They're so rebellious and disobedient. I blame the internet and all the crap that's out there on it . . .
So . . . anyway . . . I hear they want to put a flat rate tax on all alcohol in EU member countries. There's one thing they haven't thought of though. Absolutely oodles of people travel from the UK to France every year to buy alcohol cheaply and then bring it back here "for their own use". So, how are they planning to keep the Channel Tunnel open without the booze-cruisers? Nobody's going to go to France if they can't get cheap wine and the such like. That's all they have to offer, apart from the least efficient workforce in Europe.
So the way I see it, we either lose the Channel Tunnel, or we find another use for it. Well, Yapoti as a whole recommends using it to get rid of the convicts that we don't want in our country. If we can build a mahoosive cannon and send them on their way down the tunnel, all our convict problems are sorted. However, the French won't like us much then. So to keep our relations with our neighbours all merry and jolly, we'll build a huge ramp at the other end. The convicts go sliding up the ramp, flying into the air, travel over the rest of Europe, and end up in Africa. No more over-crowding in our prisons.
Some of the flying convicts, however, may not make it all the way (jail really fattens you up if you don't care much for their exercise regime). Never fear, though, because those individuals will land somewhere in the Mediterranean, then they'll get eaten by all the many sharks there. That's right, sharks. If the sharks are on holiday, as they tend to be (lazy buggers) the clownfish will do the dirty work for them. It's like the mafia. Well, sort of. The point is, it would be like an inadvertent death penalty. Nobody protests against bringing back the death penalty this way, and we get rid of all the convicts. It's a win-win situation.
Now, you may be wondering, as am I right now, what would happen if a convict escapes the sharks and clownfish, and swims onto the southern shores of France. Well, then the French would as unhappy as in the rampless situation. So, we get the French to put these escaped convicts at the top of the ramp, and let them slide down. They will build up enough speed to bring them back to the UK, we'd catch them in our big net (oh, yeah, we have a big net too), and shoot them off again. And so it goes on, until eventually all the convicts are either eaten or enjoy a great new life in the warm and sunny Mediterranean. Wait . . . that's no good . . .
Yawning Affects Pterodactyls' Opportunities To Impregnate
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