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. : Schlurrrple : .

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One of the things we all fear is the collapse of the universe. And, like any cheap crap from Ikea, it's going to happen sooner or later. But I think the main question to ask isn't "When and how is it going to happen?" like everyone seems to want to know. The real question is "what noise will it make when it happens?" This is the true dilemma of the end of the universe. Nobody can predict how it will sound, and anybody who's heard it will be dead, what with having then collapsed in on themselves.

So anyways, people have tried to predict the destiny of the universe - when and how it will die. But, for the first time in recorded history, Yapoti scientists have uncovered the exact noise that the entire universe will exude when we finally take the plunge (into a dark eerie mess).

Long and complicated equations have shown that it will go like this: SCHLURRRPLE (Note, all you educators out there, that we have even taken the educational route of including the three R's in it).

So next time you hear somebody's stomach rumble with a sound like that (which seems to happen a lot), run away. Run for your life.

There were three guys at a bar - one was a college student, one was a businessman and the other was a biker.

The student tells the two other men that it was his anniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesn't like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said.

So the business man said "That's nice, for my last anniversary I got my wife a Mercedes and a new mansion, if she didn't like the Mercedes she has to like the new mansion."

As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last anniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."

Schlurrrple

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