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"Finding lost items is easy when you know where they are."
"Why isn't the plural for compass, compi?"
"When nature calls, tell it to leave a message."
"You thought you had a pubic hair, but then you started peeing out of
it."
"Programmers are capable of giving a definitive answer to any
question thanks to google."
"Doing nothing is very hard to do . . . you never know when you're finished."
"I'm not a caffeine addict - I choose not to be able to stop drinking coffee."
"Ooohhhhh, that was the night I didn't realise everyone wasn't getting naked..."
"Money is sometimes so scary that we deliberately waste it."
"Of all the stupid things I've said, this has to be the stupidestified."
"They're not breasts, they're very manly nippular structures."
"I'm not a willy, I'm a DICK!!!"
"Insanity's existence is proved by the fact that we say its name."
"I chose to be celibate before it was cool."
Random Quotes From Random People
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