. : Jokes And Stuff : .
Now Viewing:
For decades, two heroic statues, one male
and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel
came down from Heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "that I'm
going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life
for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a
clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the
bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter,
and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged
from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking
knowingly.
Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue
and said, "Great! Only this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL shit
on its head."
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The
cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a
trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten
pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to
gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."
The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits
up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain,
so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king
explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be
easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst
out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked,
"Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one
replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with
pineapples."
Jokes & Stuff
Copyright © 2006 YAPOTI Web Publications. Email: info@yapoti.net . Always read the label.